How to Become the Man You Want to Be
Are you tired of feeling like there is more you could be doing with your life? Do you get the impression that your hopes and dreams are slipping through your fingers each day you wake up a day older?
Each and every day there are men in this world giving up on their dreams in lieu of a practical job or career. While there is nothing wrong with settling down and living a low stakes, low reward life, some people don’t succumb to this life because they want to, but rather because they feel it is their only option. Many times in life our greatest desires lie on the other side of our biggest fears.
In this article I will be giving you actionable steps to avoid sharing the same fate as these men, so that you can realize your full potential and live the life you want to live.
Live in the Moment
In life it’s easy to get caught up in the future, or to live in the past, which is already a bad habit on its own. It’s even worse when you’re trying to make a change in your life, big or small. Unfortunately, no matter how much we dwell in the past or worry about the future, there is absolutely nothing we can do about either one in this present moment.
There is a verse in the Bible that says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”, and no matter what you believe in, there is wisdom in this passage. We can only do so much in the present moment, it’s important to focus on what you can do now. It’s better not to concern yourself with what happened last week or what may happen tomorrow. You can only change now.
Be Grateful
In our busy lifestyles, it’s easy to get carried away with the things of the world and take them for granted. The very nature of our lives is a mystery, as kids we realize this but as we grow older and see the same things every day, it starts to lose its luster. That’s why sometimes it’s really important to pay attention to the world around you. Absorb the sights, sounds, smells, feelings and colors of life. It might surprise you how much we have to be thankful for when you take a step back and really look.
Not only will being grateful change your life, it may actually change your brain. In a study, the participants “showed greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude”. This shows that simply showing gratitude can have lasting effects on the brain, training your brain to be more sensitive to your current experience. Many times in life we focus on the things we want, or what we could have. Being grateful reverses this thought process and brings you back to a state of being appreciative for the things, people and experiences you do have.
Take Action to Eliminate Fear
Many times in our lives we encounter fear, but if you look back at those times you felt fearful, you’ll see that the actual event was not to be feared at all. It’s not just mental either, these feelings can manifest themselves physically as well. You see, often we are fooled by our nervous system into feeling a sense of anxiety leading up to an event, it’s the anticipation.
If you’ve ever done any type of public speaking, you may have noticed that the worst part is actually waiting for your turn to go up and speak your piece. Many public speakers and artists have felt this exact feeling many times before a speech or performance, but as soon as they start speaking their fear dissipates. This shows that action is the first, best step to quell any fear and anxiety. It is also the hardest step to take action and do something for the first time, but as you begin you start to gain confidence. If you take action you will destroy fear and use your experience to fuel further success.
For more on taking action, please refer to the following Tiny Buddha article.
Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time
As humans we tend to be very idealistic in nature. We come up with an idea in our head, and we want things in real life to be just as we imagine. Daydreaming can be a good thing, as it gives us the chance to visualize what our ideal scenario would look like, but it can also be a bad thing if we let our fantasies become our expectations. There are so many times we say “I’ll start when I have more time, money, experience etc.”, and with every passing year the excuses stack up until you’re in a vicious cycle that’s hard to break out of.
We as men like to wait for the exact right conditions to start something, whether it’s starting a business, asking out that girl, relocating, the list goes on and on. There will almost always be something stopping you, whether it’s a market crash, large amount of competition, a break up or really anything, but in this world there is no perfect time. The best time to start is last year. The second best time is right now.
Do The Thing
I don’t know what that “thing” is for you, but I’m sure you know. Sometimes we have all the information, resources, and planning we need, but still somehow end up not accomplishing what we set out to do. When we get distracted, or self-doubt creeps in, it makes it nearly impossible to complete what needs to be done, even when we know exactly what that “thing” is. These feelings stem from inaction and one of the best ways to combat it is just to take action, and to take the next step towards our goal, no matter how small.
When you’re ready to make your dent in the universe, it will be ready for you. There’s a whole world outside your door just waiting to be explored, and in order to experience it you have to take that first step out the door. Becoming the man you want to be requires becoming a man of character, a man of action, and it requires you to be a better version of yourself every day. Constantly improving yourself can feel like a lot of pressure, but we’re men. We can handle it.
If you feel as if you are suffering from anxiety and that is the reason for why you have not taken action to achieve what you want, please read our other blog post here.
