5 Ways to Be a Good Dad
Men, in this life you will be hard-pressed to find someone who will have more of an impact on your development as a man than your father will. Simply put, your father is your first glimpse inside the life of a man. The wife, the house, the career, he shows you what it means to be a man, to be responsible for others and to lead them in a positive direction, ideally. I know that not all father’s live up to this description, but here are 5 ways you can make sure that you do.
1. Spend time with your child
We all know life is busy, between work and our other responsibilities our lives can pass us by in an instant. Like Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”, and the same goes for our kids’ lives. One minute they’re learning how to ride a bike, the next they’re off to college. Due to the constant and unchanging nature of time, it’s important that we capture these precious moments with your children before it’s too late.
Laugh and be silly with your child! It doesn’t have to be some grandiose gesture, or extravagant play dates, simple activities where you can spend quality time with your child are all you need, Just turn off the TV and play with your kid! Whether it’s before you drop her off at preschool or during bath time, your child will always enjoy spending time with the one they love the most. Every once in a while make time to do an activity that they want to do, and make sure to see it though and don’t allow yourself to become distracted.
2. Be Your Child’s Teacher
You might be thinking, “Why would I need to be my kids teacher? I send them to school every day.”, but truth be told, your child will learn more from you than any other teacher in their life. Simply put, there are certain concepts that a child can only learn from his or her mom or dad. A parent teaches their kid how to walk, how to tie their shoes, and how to brush their teeth. The learning doesn’t stop there though, as they get older they’ll need to learn money management skills, relationship skills, meal prep/diet skills, and many other things that our modern school system unfortunately does not teach. After I graduated school I was amazed at how in-depth they went with algebraic inequalities and verb conjugation, all while completely disregarding lessons about doing taxes, balancing a checkbook or communicating effectively with those you love.
3. Eat Dinner As A Family
As a kid, I remember always eating dinner with my family. Of course, not everyone had a shiny, handheld supercomputer programmed to show you only what you want to see and absorb in their pockets. It would appear that, as technological power and influence increases, the significance of meaningful face-to-face interactions decreases. Whether or not this is due to the neurotransmitters that fire off in your brain when using your phone or checking your social media notifications (dopamine and serotonin), I don’t rightly know. What I do know is that kids and parents sharing a meal together can do many awesome things, such as improving language skills, help them do better in school, and help them to make better food choices. One study in the Pediatrics journal showed that children who regularly shared meals with their family were less likely to develop depression, and less likely to use drugs.
4. Respect Your Child’s Mother
Guys, you should never disparage your child’s mother publicly, or privately. No matter what your thoughts and feelings are towards her, at the end of the day she is the mother of your child and chances are no one will take the time and care to make sure your child is fed and taken care of. The man of the house has a tremendous impact on their children and their ability to construct healthy friendships and romantic relationships in the future, so it’s important to show them what that looks like, starting in your own household. There are many steps towards being a good dad, but a big one is loving the mother of your child.
5. Be your child’s role model
This is a big one. Whether you choose to be or not, you are your child’s biggest role model. Even more so if you have a son, as you are showing him what it means to be a man. That means, you gotta talk the talk and walk the walk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Actions speak louder than word though, so make sure you always follow through on a promise to ensure that you instill a character of integrity within them. Honesty is rare these days, which is sad but even worse if dishonesty creeps into a relationship between parents and their children.
It’s also important to show your kids that you are not flawless, and to be open with them about your past. When you tell people about painful and real situations you’ve been through in your life, they are more likely to feel more comfortable sharing their experiences with you, past or present. Obviously you’re human, but when you share the imperfections with your children it can really cement that fact in their minds. It can also show a success story of someone who, despite their unfortunate circumstances and flaws, ended up just fine on the other side. It’s also important to know that, as uncomfortable they are confronting them, negative thoughts and feelings still exist, and it can be very impactful if your children are able to learn how to identify and manage these emotions.
In today’s society, it’s as important as ever to be a strong man of character, and to instill that same level of integrity and honor into your kids. Children are the future, and in a small way we have the power to mold the future through them. Let’s make it a future worth living.
For more on growing into the man you want to be, please read our other article on this parenting series.
